looking at my own reflection

Reflection. This week has really been a week of reflection. Reflecting on project, reflecting on my life, on the Lords purpose for me, everything. I love when I have weeks like this, it gives me time to sit and be still before the Lord and simply listen. Project has been great so far. I truly love it here and can see why the Lord sent me to Juneau. I have been pushed outside of my comfort zone repeatedly.  We have been talking a lot about the lies we believe about ourselves. This has always been a common theme that is brought to my attention and the more I reflect on it the more and more I realize the lies I believe. Last week I was feeling like I could never be an adequate leader, that I would never be able to follow the Lord fully and serve Him with my life. What a lie right? I have identified it as a lie and I have been praying and seeking the truth. God often times speaks to me through worship and song. This morning I was sitting around listening to music and reading my Bible when the song You Are For Me by Kari Jobe came to my attention. These are the lyrics...

 So faithful

        So constant              So loving and so true                                                                                       So powerful in all You do                                                                                           You fill me                                                                                          You see me                                                                               You know my every move                                                                            You love for me to sing to You                                                                                                        I know that You are for me                                                                             I know that You are for me                                                                             I know that You will never                                                                            Forsake me in my weakness                                                                                         And I know that You have come down                                                                          Even if to write upon my heart                                                                            To remind me who You areI really recommend listening to the song. It is truly beautiful and weighs heavy on my own heart. I listen to this  and think do i KNOW of all these things? Do i KNOW that God is faithful and constant and true and never forsakes me in my weakness? Do I KNOW that He fills me and see's me? Do i KNOW that God loves me individually? These are questions that rock me to my core. I realize that I do not truly know these things. If i did i would not question my ability to follow Him fully. I have no ability to follow Him without Him. My fear of not being a good leader or not following the Lord fully is revolved around myself and I have realized that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what Christ has done for me. With that I opened my Bible to Philippians 3: 12-4:1"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that i Have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved."Will you join me in forgetting what lies behind and straining for Christ? Will you join me in KNOWING we are seen by God, KNOWING God leads us and cares for us? I pray I am contstantly reminded to KNOW Gods truth and strive to glorify Him.